“Life is a series of mountains, valleys and missiles”
This is a lesson I learned from my old friend and mentor, Chris Barrow
To paraphrase Chris:
Mountains: Are the moments when we feel on top of the world. When everything is going really well. When things are good, the key is to enjoy and appreciate the things that are going well instead of obsessing about all the things that aren’t quite yet perfect.
Valleys: Are the moments when we hit a low point (whether personally, professionally or financially). When you hit those moments, you simply have to dig in. To keep on going. To learn the lessons, you need to learn and have faith that things will turn around with hard work and focus.
Missiles: Are those moments when we get knocked off our feet by a ‘missile’ that rocks our world. It could be an illness, the death of a loved one, divorce, redundancy or bankruptcy.
My missile came in 2015 with a stage 1 cancer diagnosis followed subsequently with two rounds of chemotherapy. I was lucky the cancer was caught early at Stage 1. And also fortunate to receive some wise advice about protecting my mental health – and so in parallel with my treatment, began counselling before I felt I needed it to ensure I could manage the emotional and mental journey cancer brings. It turned out to a wise decision in helping me build the required resilience.
At the time, the chemo treatment was manageable – the immediate side effects minimal – but it took nearly 2 years to get my energy levels back after the various side effects from the treatment.
I had tremendous support from my managers and colleagues at Microsoft from different corners of the world. With friends in Singapore, I was open about the cancer and treatment, and globally, all my colleagues knew. In fact, they all wore false ‘Movember’ style moustaches to support me at a global conference in Seattle during my 2nd chemo round! (see below).
In the UK, my immediate family and close friends knew. But we didn’t share beyond that as I didn’t want my elderly parents to get a bunch of calls and worrying them.
I was open because men need to talk about cancer and check themselves regularly, to reduce early deaths. Similarly, men need to learn to be more open in seeking help when they’re facing potential mental health challenges – not when things have already progressed to a very difficult stage. Women talk about these issues more openly. Men don’t. Sadly, more men are dying earlier than needed.
In 2023, there appears to be less stigma than in 2015. But there is still more to do to build greater awareness in this area.
Since 2015, most Novembers, I organise a little health challenge for “Movember” for colleagues to raise awareness, raise some funds and have some laughs. Just in time to then enjoy the festive treats in December. And have co-organised fun Movember fundraisers for Microsoft and LinkedIn employees in Singapore to raise funds and awareness for men’s mental health and suicide prevention, prostate cancer and testicular cancer.
Today, I’m in great health. Like most people i have my ups and downs and have to get my health habits back on track every now and then.
But cancer taught me to value life’s important things – health, family and creating moments and memories worth remembering. As cliche as it sounds, to make each day count!
As I’ve been very open about it all, I am often asked questions by people going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. This gives me the gift of paying forward what I’ve learned. That’s been my choice and my decision – and my way to take something positive from my experience.
Doing good and raising awareness about serious issues doesn’t have to be serious. Below are some fun pics to make you smile and laugh.
